Stress levels are winding down now. Thank goodness. Things were really craaazy for a while there. I only have one SAC left, and I've gotten some good results back the last couple of days. Feeling so grateful to my parents for letting me make my own decision, and supporting it. What do you know, they are good for something lol ;) ...

For the first time in a long time, I have the space to not worry. Quite a luxury. I'm feeling good about my chances of getting into the course I want too. I guess cause I seem to be getting full marks (or close) in almost everything. Although I'm yet to find out about UniLit. In fact, I don't even know if I will at all. Oh well. It's ok...

I'm singing tomorrow in a performance with Jazz Ensemble. We're *so* under-rehearsed, but it'll be ok. :) 'Killing Me Softly', and 'Gee Baby, Ain't I Good to You'. (For those who remember Cameron Diaz in The Mask, she sings that. It's awesome...)
Looking forward to that... :D :D

However, now I am hungry, and I think I'll go chill...maybe get a video...a milkshake...a relaxing evening. Fantastic.

PS. Saw Geoffrey Rush last night. The phrase 'oscar-winning actor' is for once supported by the hype. He is extremely talented, and the play was hysterically funny. :) Lovely evening out with friends. Life is beautiful.

Four days to go.
I don't think I'll cope.
Two weeks without the haven of this place.
Two weeks without the safety of the system.
Two weeks without a hundred people around me.
Two weeks of choices all my own.
Two weeks
And then I have to come back...
Hmm...



Guess what...

Seventeen hour day yesterday. It was full on.
Got up at six to get to breakfast on the banks of the Yarra at 7.30. I left the house in the dark, very very quietly... It was a great breakfast though. Half the year level turned up, and it was good to see everybody. Strange that it was us doing it though...
Aths was great. I did no work. Which is ok, because I did other important things. Supported my house. Led some cheers (that was fun). Ran in a relay (we came 3rd out of ten). Wore a frog head hat (for a little while).
And we won it! Fifth year in a row... It was exciting. I was mainly just glad we didn't let anybody down (like our house teacher...he's a legend...he really wanted to be able to put "5 Years of Krome Excellence" on his tshirt...)
Then, last night, I went to see my friends in the Year 12 Play. It was INCREDIBLE. I was sooo proud of them... I've never seen such a dangerous, sexual atmosphere in my life. It was made even more amazing by the fact that it was two girls on stage, playing a girl and a guy - or to be more accurate, a convict and a geisha. I was blown away.
I wish I could have seen it twice, but it sold out.

Things are pretty crazy at the moment.
There's only a week and a half until end of term. Two weeks of holidays. And getting through this week and a half will be a big challenge.
I don't mind it. I don't mind the work. It's so interesting.
But I really do mind trying to manage my time and having such a panic attack about it. It's impossible. I understand what the IB girls are talking about better now. Too much...
The worst - and the best - part, is that everyone else is having the same sorts of problems. I am not alone.

Tomorrow is Aths Day. I will take my homework, and try to read about Venetian History in an environment completely opposite to it. Talk to my friends. Listen to them speaking english, french, latin and spanish. Doing Specialist Maths homework. Eating way too much.
It's the last time. And I have to value that, even if I *really* don't have time...this is something for which I will make time.

My expectations about life are being constantly challenged and updated. I love that.

Growth. It's the best thing in the world.

I arrive, expecting her presence
I do my hair while thinking what she'll say
Even if I don't
Admit it to myself
She is not there
My eyes are open but
Her door is unusually closed
And I wait to see her
Feel empty without her
Wish I could interrupt her
Today

Maybe I'll see her
Tomorrow

I hope she's ok.

i loved sush's update
so much
i wanted to do one myself...

7 things that scare you:
1) swimming pools in the dark
2) when my parents fight
3) potential rejection from people i love
4) failure
5) being followed on the street
6) what happens after this year...?
7) unexpected violence

7 things that make you laugh:
1) doig and deb fighting over hypothetical circumstances (for months!)
2) malcolm in the middle
3) my brother imitating funny movies...jim carrey...men in tights...
4) too much sugar!
5) josie :)
6) tickling my sister
7) myself

7 things you love:
1) my bed
2) talking to people who laugh in the right places
3) Tosca
4) really blue skies when autumn is just beginning
5) The Far Side
6) girls night's in (aka sleepovers ;) )
7) performance

7 things you hate:
1) other people wasting my time
2) when there are no answers to my questions
3) spending a whole day at home, when I can't go out
4) awful family holidays
5) people who look at me strangely when I say something, then change the subject
6) trying (and failing) to put my contacts in
7) the fact that i am an 'unconscious flirt'

7 things you don't understand:
1) people who justify smoking by saying "we're all going to die someday anyway"
2) why junk food has to be bad for you
3) people who choose to take three maths subjects (leonie...)
4) why this year is already so much better than any other year of school, even though I have so much work
5) people who take more than six year 12 subjects (even though only six can count)
6) people for whom fun is getting trashed and not remembering what happened
7) economics (not that I've ever tried or anything...)

7 things on your desk:
1) empty diet coke bottle
2) 'The Penguin Book of the Renaissance' by J H Plumb
3) a half empty lunchbox
4) my diary
5) my laptop
6) my pencil case
7) my charger

7 things that you are doing right now:
1) talking on ICQ
2) listening to the murmur/babble of conversation from other Year 12s
3) planning my weekend
4) feeling guilty for not working
5) but not much
6) digesting cornthins and sultanas. yum.
7) writing this update

7 facts about you:
1) I love politics (the class, that is)
2) I have a peanuts calendar. schultz rocks.
3) This weekend I *am* going to see Gosford Park. I insist.
4) I have an ongoing fantasy that I will someday win an Oscar.
5) I love food.
6) I also love to argue with people.
7) I love to dance, too. Even if it's just in my room by myself. Very fun :)

7 things you plan to do before you die:
1) travel
2) finish reading Les Miserables and Lord of the Rings
3) take up kickboxing and get really fit
4) create a home
5) have kids
6) study. lots.
7) teach what I learn, and learn while I teach...

7 things you can do (well):
1) sing
2) give fantastic back massages
3) play scrabble
4) makeup (as sad as that is)
5) debate
6) comfort people
7) stand up for myself

7 things you can't do (well):
1) wait patiently
2) maths
3) listen to (and care about) boring people
4) give control to others
5) not prepare for important work
6) not talk
7) hug my dad

so sush...now you know me in sevens...

I finished my English Issues SACs today. No more Issues. At least until we have to revise them for end-of-year exams.
Our teacher gave us streamers to throw across the classroom in celebration.
It made me feel better. So does the fact that hopefully now I'll only have one or two SACs a week for a while.

I don't know that I have the mental energy to get up tomorrow. However, I do know that when my alarm goes off at a quarter to seven, I will stumble out of bed involuntarily and turn the shower on, and not think for the next ten minutes except of basic functions (*hot water* *need towel* *i'm already late* etc). When I get on the tram I'll wake up a little, and when I get to school and have Diet Coke for breakfast I'll wake up more, and hopefully actually start thinking in full sentences ;) .

Man, I want to watch TV. Hmm...will the guilt outweigh the need to zone out...stay tuned....







(For those of you still here, it won't.)

Right.
So in the last few days, I've gotten some sac results back.
And they were awesome. (Even if I do say so myself.)
And full marks for the Politics SAC I was so worried about! Thank God...or whatever...I was *so* relieved!

So why am I not more elated?
I guess cause it's only the first step on a (feels like) very loooong journey.
Just have to keep reminding myself, it'll be over before I know it.

In other news, my formal dress is a size too big. If I keep losing weight, I may have to get a new one.
My mum is not happy about that. ;)

Too tired...need to go home...soon...zzzzz...

NAME:
Eliza Gabrielle

TIME STARTED:
3.10

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT:
Scarily huge family home. Spend 99.8% of time in my cosy little room. Big bookshelves. It's all good.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW:
An Imaginary Life by David Malouf. Incredible. He is soooo talented.

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD:
It's a touchpad :P meh

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME:
Monopoly, Scrabble (it's all about scrabble!!)

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE:
Chick. It's surprisingly good. And Cosmo for the brain-dead factor. Plus, it's funny!

6A. FAVORITE SMELLS:
mornings. my bed. fresh bread. the sea. coffee.

6B. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS:
??? don't wanna think about it. too gross.

7. FAVORITE SOUND:
applause. beautiful singing. music from tosca. orchestral music too...depends what... and sometimes...silence.

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:
Depression and feeling useless/hopeless.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING:
What I have to do, and that I really should get up! Or if it's the weekend...what I have to do, and that I really should get up! At least at the moment...

10. FAVORITE COLOR:
Sky blue.

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE:
2. 3 if i'm busy.

12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME:
Yvonne Catherine

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE:
Truth. Discovery. Creation. Beauty. Stories.

14. FAVORITE FOODS:
Pizza. Diet Coke. Chocolate. Icecream. And when I'm feeling healthy, bread and green crisp apples.

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA:
Chocolate. Duh!

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST:
Only on deserted roads in the middle of the desert. Preferably at night!

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL:
Yes. He's a polar bear.

18. STORMS COOL OR SCARY:
Absolutely awesome.

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR:
As if I have a car!!

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE:
Einstein and Michaelangelo

21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK:
Champagne. Good stuff.

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN:
Capricorn, with the personality of a Leo.

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI:
Euch.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE:
Writer. Artist. Singer. Circus Artist. Composer and musician. Writer of travel books. Explorer. Lots of other things that I can't think of off the top of my head.

25. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR:
I like it the way it is.

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE:
Uh...no idea. I think so. But I've never been loved back...at least not by the right person...

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL:
Half full. I'm an eternal optimist.

28. FAVORITE MOVIES:
ACk! Think I said this one earlier... read back...
Oh ok.
Tootsie.
Can't be bothered with the rest. Lots.

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS:
Almost always.

30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED:
Piles of paper relating to lots of different things...

31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER:
2.

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH:
Live AFL. Air hockey when it's played properly. Ice skating. Ski jumping. Trampolining? I don't know...

34. NICKNAME:
They're all too embarrassing to state here!! No...I don't really have one...lots of non-personal ones...I've always wanted one tho...anyone?

35. BDAY:
December 31st 1984

36. HEIGHT:
167cm

37. EYE COLOR:
Blue-grey, like the sea. Sometimes green. They shift.

38. HAIR:
Red and wavy/curly.

39. PETS:
Darcy. Tail-less Sealpoint Siamese cat. We're getting a new kitten too...

40. PIERCINGS:
Two in one ear, one in the other

41. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH:
No. SO over it. Having crushes that is. Although if you ask me in a week...

43. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU WANT:
If anything? hmm... no clue. We'll see...when it's relevant...

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE:

44. Drink:
Diet coke or chocolate milkshakes (skinny)

45. T.V. SHOW:
don't really watch, but the simpsons, friends (the first seasons - it's relatively crap now) malcolm in the middle, daria...

46. SEASON:
summer and winter

47. HOLIDAY:
summer holidays...

48. SONG:
currently nothing. no time to listen. it's a cruel world!

49. RESTAURANT:
columbos

50. LEAST FAVORITE PERSON:
our principal!

51. WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 10 YEARS:
meh!! ???...

52. WHAT IS YOUR DEEPEST FEAR:
Failure.

53. IF YOU COULD DO JUST ONE THING IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE:
make a film as amazing as...american beauty.

54. TIME FINISHED:
3.30

Man...so much to say, so much to say...

I went and visited the litter of kittens that our new kitten will be from yesterday. They are four days old. They are unbelievably amazing and beautiful. Smaller than my hand, and infinitely more delicate. Now I want a new kitten, even though before I wasn't feeling very enthusiastic.

Life goes on...work gets bigger...
This weekend our household juggled back-to-back ten-year-old birthday parties. Boys on Saturday, girls on Sunday. I made myself scarce the first day, (and worked and worked and worked) but I had a great time with the girls. I love my sister's friends. Sometimes I feel like I have about 8 little sisters, all at once. I just watch them, and wonder how they're going to grow up...what will happen to them, how they will be in five, ten, twenty years...

Anyway...
Study is great. I love study. It's my favourite thing. For which I am thankful. Cause otherwise I would drown. In paper. Often.

Back-to-back SACs tomorrow. V. Scary. Wish me luck!!
Full marks for Politics, here we come...